Prep Pal Gifts

I downloaded some SAT practice tests. I'll time you. Ok. Ready. "If Ann spends every day obsessing over stupid tests,

Hungry child

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

Theatre Crowd

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'Bront?saurus.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Prepper Dog

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

How the bones got into the Le Brea Tar Pits

Come Back Sloane

'Don't look now, but here comes some natural selection.'

How to survive the coming crash.

"Always be prepared."

T-Rex Baseball

'This would be a lot more fun if you didn't throw like a girl.'

Climate Change Contingency House

'Did you order something from Amazon?'

"Just you wait!"

"I like to see a man who's prepared, Remson!"

Two inebriated friends meet, one says: 'Hello, I've not seen you since you were this high.'

'Hello! Don't I know you from the internet?'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

'He's at that age, he knows the names of all of them.'