Prenup Negotiator T-Shirts

'So who gets the apple tree and who gets the fig leaves?' 'The First Prenuptial Agreement.'

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'

"She signed a prenup promising not to eat me and then ate the lawyer."

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

Perhaps a ceasefire is in order. Terms? I will agree not to pummel you for forgetting our anniversary. You will refrain from pursuing the possibility that I, too, have forgotten it. You will, furthermore, massage my feet in penance for denying me a reason to yell at you. Non-negotiable! Got off easy.

'Now that looks like a guy I could go through a prenup process with.'

"What would I suggest for a woman who has everything...a prenup!"

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

'YOU'RE the hostile - takeover group!?'

Big Deal/Done Deal.

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

"Could you please refer to this as a merger rather than being in cahoots?"

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"I appreciate you keeping up with the vernacular of the times, but please refrain from referring to the billion-dollar restructuring as 'The Dealio'."

"Mr. Tilson will suffer you gladly now."

Tunnel of I Need You to Help Out More Around the House

"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"I'm just taking your advice and using every opportunity I can to make money."

'It's just a scratch. I can still handle dessert.'

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

"...and then I'll tell you when I plan to go on holiday."

"Darling, how wonderful ...a prenup!"

"Yes, dear, I like the idea of repeating our vows — but let's change some stuff."