Prenatal Testing T-Shirts

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

So … you do a lot of yoga?

'I demand a DNA test.'

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

Smartphone Sonogram

"Oooh! I think I just felt our stock split."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"All this stuff? I'm meeting for two now."

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"Congratulations! It's centuplets!"

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

May the force be with you

'Here's one I made earlier!'

Birthing Ball

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

Baby Footballer

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

"I can hear some rattling: Better start writing those birth notices Darling..."