Prenatal Humor Pillows

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

The Elephant in the Womb

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

Maternity ward on the farm.

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

Pregnant vs. Old.

Some blind dates work out just fine.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

Where Box Turtles Come From

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"