Prenatal Humor Pillows

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

The Elephant in the Womb

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

Maternity ward on the farm.

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

Pregnant vs. Old.

Some blind dates work out just fine.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

Where Box Turtles Come From

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"