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'I'd like to buy insurance to stop my insurance rates from going up.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

The Map of the human brain

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

'Uhhh... Houston, we have a problem.'

Eureka!

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'You know too much!'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

Wordplay: Gastropod.

The Salmon Run

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

Some card-game puns

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'