Premier League Gifts

'Once more unto the bridge dear friends, once more...'

Sir Alex Ferguson breaks seven-year boycott of the BBC.

Martin Jol

Ruud Gullit's 'sexy football'

Grim Reaper calling on The Premiership

David Moyes

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Hand picked by Fergie...

"Pace yourself big man! You're fatigued and the footy season has just begun!"

Football - How's my Diving?

Jose Mourinho

Manuel Pochettino

"Hmm... why isn't he our goalkeeper..?"

VAR - a nail in the football coffin...

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Ethics exam cheater.

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

I like the Jets...I guess

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Football Fans