Prehistoric Pet Enthusiast Pillows

"That's my spinster aunt - she lives alone with her saber-tooth cat."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Pick me!"

The first car accident.

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Canine Companion

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"He's already getting attached to you."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Love Conquers All

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

The discovery of asparagus.

"Did you get my tweet?"

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

Those Were The Days

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"The invention of taxidermy."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

"Daddy's working from home today."

Author's Bio-diversity.