Precautionary Partner Pillows

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Worry tank

'I tried it at home...'

Geekasaurus.

I'd climb the highest mountain for you...

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

"It's called being preemptive."

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

'My wife bought me this helmet when I told her I was buying a bike. She's a little over protective.'

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Health and safety nightmare.

"My mom says you can sleep on the top bunk if your parents will sign a release form."

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

'And when you taught my client to fish, instead of giving him one, did you ever stop to consider that he might be allergic to seafood!'

"He was a firm believer in rolling up his sleeves."

"Impressive brawl skills."

"It's just a precaution, we've had a few close calls lately."

"You know what's about to happen and you still got in the car. But yet I'm called the dummy."

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

'I don't think he is a confident flyer.'

"I dread the pear-picking season."

Despite some overgrown lawns, the neighborhood is terrific. For sale. The seller's yard is meticulously tended. Imagine letting him play here everyday! Just treated with pesticide.

"If I had to be quarantined with anyone, I'm glad it's with you."

Ted never left anything to chance. His computer passwords were all 99 random characters long. . .

"I'll stick to my survivalist bunker."

Humpty Dumpty! Put on this helmet.

Flu pandemic precautions

Mantra For 2022

'What did I tell you kids about swimming in the cement hole?'

'You've bought your wife a get-well card every day this month - isn't that awfully expensive?' 'Yeah, but it's still cheaper than sending her to the doctor.'

"Would it kill you to ask me how I'm doing?"

"Yeah, well, I'm not taking any goddam pill until I know what the long-term effects are."