Precarious Professional Gifts

'There's not a lot of job security around here.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Others will fight for you

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

"I need to clone myself."

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

Loyalty Award

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'I didn't get the promotion. The interviews took place in the men's room.'

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

"I want to work from home!"

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

'They're a very successful family.'

Professional woman in pub

Joint Ventures!

"Working from home is a great idea, Dad. We'd just like to establish some kind of dress code."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"Office of quality assurance"

"No, Mr. Kurlander, I don't have, nor have I ever had, a recipe for cranberry muffins."

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"I'm not the ruthless guy everyone says I am, but that's my goal."