Pre-nup Planner Pillows

'Some day, son, all of this will be your ex-wife's.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Lesbian civil partnership.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"...until death do you a favor."

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'He does.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"I'm getting so old I don't remember where I buried my bone..."