Pre-nup Planner Pillows

'Some day, son, all of this will be your ex-wife's.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Lesbian civil partnership.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

'I always cry at weddings!'

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'He does.'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"...until death do you a favor."

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."