Prayer Pioneers Gifts

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Praying mantis.

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

Saying Grace.

Various Birds of Pray.

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

"...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education..."

Various Birds of Pray.

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

And cut down on the praying if you want the housemaid's knee to go...

Holy phone

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

"Are we allowed to pray?"

Give Thanks.

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

"Each night Lily said her prayers... As the fleas and gnats do bite and gnaw my skin, so shall the worms eat and consume me, in the dirt and dust of the Lord's earth. Amen. And each night her prayers freaked her parents out."