Prayer Paddler Gifts

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Monk Prompt

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

Praying mantis.

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

"What do I click on after I say 'Amen'?"

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

And cut down on the praying if you want the housemaid's knee to go...

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

Holy phone

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

'God Bless Momma, and Daddy and Fluffy...'

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

Husband to kneeling wife: 'Praying for a snow day is great, Martha, except that we live in Boca Raton.'

'Perhaps you need a more reverent prayer than, 'Come on, God, help me out.'

The Force of Example.

Thanks God!

Canoe paddle with a bite mark in it.

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."