Practice Chauffeur T-Shirts

'My drug problem is a little different. I'm being drug to P.T.A meetings, drug to little league practice, drug to dance rehersal, drug to...'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Try Mediation

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

Lost around a military base.

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

A car towing a yacht full of people partying down a rural road.

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"Wouldn't it be easier to have sat nav fitted?"

"I have my pants put on one leg at a time."

Guard dogs

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

Man whistles while driving his car.

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

Articulated taxicab serving two hotels.

An aircraft marshal helps a limousine park

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

"Well, come on Son, don't keep us in suspense. Did you pass your driving test?"

Pets on holiday.

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

"This is the main house, plus there's a cottage on the property where your Lyft driver would live."

"I'm liking it already!"

Carpet

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."