Powerlifting Punster Pillows

"The power's out again? So what do you do when that happens?"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

I think you're ace

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dogs life

Pet Cemetery.

Dog Walker

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

A Tongue Stud.

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

Licker Store

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

". . . But, according to your cat, you had a fur ball contract."

"He's a shiitake."

Lawyer Xing

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

Two particles outside Hadron Collider; 'Fancy getting smashed this evening?'

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...

Pole Vault

"There's no need to call me names, Slime-Breath!"

'Come on, just a few more. I need to boost my metabolism.'

'Five years in that place. What on earth did you do with yourself in all that time.'

Right jab or left jab.

"Do you think there might be a bitcoin in it?"

Math Dept. I can't move my hand to indicate "Hello" anymore. You mean your wave function has collapsed?

Gag t-shirt for Mensa members.