Power Conversationalist T-Shirts

"I couldn't help noticing we both seem about to grab the same little company."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'It wasn't so much a hostile takeover as it was a best 2 out of 3 pillow fight.'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

A lesson in wit

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

"My main worry is my anxiety."

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

Bla Bla Bla