Potion Pundit Pillows

'Glory be, but isn't it great to be in the doom and gloom business this year?'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

"I can't wait to see our new ad campaign. Wait, don't tell me...it's NEW and IMPROVED!"

Apples...37 Spinach...43 Peaches...51

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

"I can see you're concerned about the amount of medication you're taking. Let me see if I can give you something for that."

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

"If the medication we're giving you has side effects then we have some pills that may help."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'Anxiety drugs are driving up big pharma stocks, thanks to global armed conflict!'

'Well,here's the answer to why your car has been running so rough in the mornings Mr.Tait...It's pregnant!'

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

'If voting in elections really changed anything the politicians wouldn't allow it!'

'Oh, oh - it's tomorrow.'

"Actually son....these are peaches!"

'I think your doctor gave you the wrong note, Sir. We don't have any bread and milk.'

Petrol Prices: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here

Sanna Marin party