Potion-mixing Horticulturist T-Shirts

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

Toadstools

'One eye of newt or two?'

'Needs salt!'

Newt sale

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"I said slime."

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

Apothecary. Tell us what ails you. We'll concoct a chemical mix to dissolve in water which will fix you. Every problem has solution!

Witch's Brew.

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

'Take two eyes of newt, and call me in the morning.'

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

"You'll build another bug collection in no time."

'Needs more kale.'

"I trust him - he has a science background."

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

Witch in drugstore: They're endangered now, so I need a newt substitute.'

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

Witch reading book titled 'How to turn someone into a voter."

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'..and one for the pot.'