Pot Luck Enthusiast Gifts

"Why is it that every time we get invited to a pot luck, they expect us to bring deviled eggs?"

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Bribes for Jabs

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Church Basement Foodie

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'And right here they merged...'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

"It's lotto fever."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"In light of current market conditions, I've diversified your portfolio to include Lotto tickets and bingo chips."

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."