Postal System Critic Pillows

Customer to postal worker: 'How about the wounded letter office?'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

'Grrrr....'

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

Seinfeld: The Early Years.

You've Got Mail

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

Why the Egyptians stopped building the pyramids.

'So, you're a little Hitler? You're hired.'

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

"Hello, department of pointless endeavors and redundant futility."

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

It's Not How Long It Takes, It's How Big It Is

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"Just junk mail."

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

Captain of ship, surrounded by rough drafts and scrunched-up pieces of paper, says: 'Dammit bosun, we can't set sail without a coherent mission statement.'

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

'They want the medals back. Apparently, you used a Vicks inhaler before going over the top in 1916.'

Inland Revenue Awards - The next award is for the longest time it took to give someone the correct tax code.

"It's okay, honey. It's only a mailman."

U. S. MAIL, 'Daddy's home!'

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

"We're now taxing your intellectual property."

Post early for Christmas 2010.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

Envelopes.

A man stands before a post box with no slot to put his letter

"I'm afraid as a result of managements' reorientation of forward facing patientcentric resource functions...you're going to have to make your own way to the toilet."

"Maximum security prison"