Post-workout Indulger Pillows

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Happy Hour

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

Professional woman in pub

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

'A Fucking Drink'

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

Pizza and Related Searches.

"Held up at work? You could have called."

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock

"Banana! Banana! My energy break!"

Reminder from my Telebartender. Gotta go!

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

Supermarket Aisles.

'The students must be back then.'

'What are you grinning at? It's only 5.30.'

"I like to start après-ski early."

The online exercise class was going rather well.

The Starving Night

'Doner Kebab Card' I would like someone to eat my kebab in the event that I am too pissed to do so'

'Congratulations. You're the world's first exercycle potato.'

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

'If I collapse there's a cherry danish in my lunchbox.'

'I've had a really hard day -- make it a two-trip salad bar.'

"I know . . . your job's a pressure cooker. So will tonight be natural or quick release?"