Post-apocalypse Survivor Gifts

2042

Desert Island BBQ

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"We come from the future and just want to say: Hey, thanks for the planet!"

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"On a clear night when the stars are twinkling over the city, I almost don’t mind that civilization collapsed."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

"Brrr - it was so cold today I had my hands in my own pockets instead of someone elses!"

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

Post-Apocalypse Greeting Card

'Well, Dewey, the world will never be the same. ... the deer have gone nuclear.'

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

"Looks as though we got out just in time!"

"If the council is convened, I'd like to propose some measures to deal with the catastrophic change that has ravaged earth, leaving us a small band of scavengers."

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

'The tide goes out along way, doesn't it?'

"What makes you think you have cabin fever?"

"You've got a bit of brain on the side of your mouth."

Guide to making your undead years your best years.

Adam and Eve tempted by apple in hazmat suits.

'Our troubles are over Lew.. I've just won the lottery!'

"We've taken out a second mortgage on our first one."

"I derive some satisfaction from being right."

'I don't give Zombie Apocalypses out to anybody as gifts I'm afraid.'

'You're trying to hail a taxi?... Are you insane? You'll never get one at this time of day!'

'Come on, Larry! You don't have time to make a bucket list!'

'LAND!'

"I'd say my number-one issue is getting off the island, and then, after that, probably health care."

"I'm sorry, but I believe I'm now way out of your network."

'When they said they had the 'screaming trots' I thought they meant a band!'