Positive Thinker In Absurdity Pillows

The bright side of a nuclear meltdown

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

Be Healthy

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Self-esteem room

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"Admit it, we're lost."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Barcode Dreams

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Congratulations on the new you!