Ports Gifts

"Lawyers and rats fleeing the ship; that can't be good."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Prize vegetables.

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

The Busy Gardener

Computer Room.

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

I will study my speling words...

'My feet are killing me.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Portrait of a Lady"

Holiday time.

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.