Portrait Collecting Pillows

'I paint what I see, in this case a commission worth eight hundred guineas.'

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'It's called 'Portrait of Madame LaGrange who lives on the top floor with her husband, the grocer, and with her dog miki, a cute little terrier with brown ears who is always running up and down the stairs and barking at everyone's door.''

Framed Lady

"Great photo."

Cariactures

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"You're my Mona Lisa."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Diego Velasquez

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

Mythical Family of Four.

'Are you done yet?'

El Greco

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

Elizabeth II

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

'One of my forebears.'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

Michelangelo Buonarroti.

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

Mitch McConnell

'Well, you're not Michaelangelo!'

"You got better-looking as you got older—up to a point."

AUGUSTUS JOHN

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

Catherine the Great with her daughter Nora Soso

The caricature of Dorian Gray

Duck painting picture of man painting picture of a duck.

'It's my latest invention. I call it 'Picture in a picture.'

"Look at me then... What the hell happened?"