Portion Control Specialist Pillows

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

All-Day Breakfast

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"They should have quit after deep dish."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

Yes, I Want Fries With That.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"My father always said...eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince...and dinner like a beggar."

Go large or go home!

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

Diet Food...& lots of it

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

'You are what you eat!'

'What do you mean, microbiotic?' 'Very small portions.'

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

Portions of a thin and fat man.