Portfolio Worrier T-Shirts

Will your stocks recover soon? How refreshing you still have a sense of humour...

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

I think I have a gilt complex.

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

No Action Comics

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

Energy Bills

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"I thought I'd done everything to get a decent pension..."

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

"My dad's going to be upset about that "D" on my research paper. He worked all night on it."

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

Credit Crunch.