Poop Professional Pillows

'Here's my business card.'

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"Humans are strange."

"I've been calling, but he's not picking up."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

"Well, our toxic wastes are ten times more harmful thinner hazardous wastes."

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

"No, I said 'sit'."

'What training do I get?'

Pooper scoppers.

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'Yes, I got it all.'

"Nothing personal. It's just business."

"There he goes again! What on earth does he do with it all?!"

"Sometimes I regret I chose a big dog."

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

"She's looking for just the right place to poopie."

'You talk about a clean dog!'

The Evolution of Man.

"Excuse me, but does it look like I have an extension on this scooper?"

"Oh, for goodness sake! I'll change the baby's nappy!"

Poopa-Scoopa

'Look out - a snooper from Environmental Health.'

"Here, clean up after yourself."

No, that's the garbage disposal.

Walkies again?

"If someone watched a person walking their dog, then stop to pick up the dog's poop. . . who would they think was in charge?"

'I can't stand picking it up.'

''It's an understanding we have if he wants to come out with me.''

"You think your people are weird, mine follows me around on walks and bags my poop."

2 A.M. on a Moonless Night

"Whaddya gonna do? It's an act of dog."