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"Easy, Scooter. Word on the street is she's got the fleas."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Dog Wrestling.

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"I've been calling, but he's not picking up."

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

"We should probably stop calling each other 'Fluffy's person' and 'Fifi's person' and learn each other's real names - now that we're married I mean."

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"It's a fantastic character reference..."

"Funny how he always goes in the same spot."

'I forgot to tell you... he's part Spitz.'

Water cooler talk - dogs drinking from toilet.

"I've pretended to be interested in that breed many times."

-'I'd like a doggy bag.' -'And make it a big one.'

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

Simple Dog Humour

Tough Guy

"I told him about anthropomorphism, and he decided to try it."

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

"Don't worry, that's just him being friendly."

Blue-nosed pointer: 'Naughty, naughty!'

'Don't chase it - You don't know where it's been.'

"He continues to taunt me. Frankly, I don't know else can be done."

"I can't find his dog whistle anywhere."

Beware of the Overly Friendly Dog.

Walking The Dog.

'I really hit the jackpot the day you came to the dog's home didn't I?'

"Let me guess - testicles?"