Ponderer Of Life's Ironies Gifts

"I'd better change my habits/enjoy myself before it's too late!"

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

Tsunami Evac Route

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

A signaller directing pallbearers

"I think we have an ant problem"

Philosophy Dept: Are you really here?

I'm sorry, but Mr. Peters isn't seeing anyone today. He's busy maintaining his deniability.

"Well, I have bad news for you, too."

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

'I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid!'

A woman collecting mushrooms rests under a mushroom.

RIP Dr. Tom Kent: In my absence contact Dr. G. Hall

Man with a big question

"When I was young I needed drugs to feel weird. Now, I need drugs to feel normal."

"Oh, darn, and just as I was beginning to take charge of my life."

'Life is ruining your health.'

Deer laughing at hunter caught in a snow drift.

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

"Yes, I was downsized out of here last month. That's who this collection is for!"

Glen had been depressed ever since deciding to live every day as if it were his last.

"I no longer think, therefore I no longer am."

Passage of Time

The Misleading Wine Fridge

'I had a job once, sir, but I succumbed to sleep deprivation.'

A mortgage and a shitty job-experience centre.

'And I'm telling you, mister, that a cocktail served with no ice can't be a genuine 'Titanic' cocktail!'

Food guide.

Slimmer's baguette.

So I said to them - what do you want, the shirt off my back?