Pond Keeping Gifts

But incorrect stocking can upset the balance of your water.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"She's just being Koi."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

Cat in tank sees fish form letters to spell out, 'Help'.

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

"After we bought the aquarium, the pump, gravel, grass and heater, we couldn't afford any fish."

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

Fish tank filled with sardines.

Drinking Companions

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'We get a lot more wildlife now we have a pond.'

Frankenfish

FISH ESCAPE.

Skinhead guppy.

But Darling, how could I possibly have an affair?