Polyhedra Pundit Gifts

'I'd like to be transferred to the Bureau of Cubes...immediately.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

Eldrow

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Fact amnesty"

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

'Why is it always about me?'

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

Hog magazine with litters to the editor dept.

"As a cost-cutting measure, for our fall list we have decided to bypass traditional bookstore sales and subsequent remaindering, and instead go directly to the shredder."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

Siegfried Sassoon

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

Wussapalooka

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

Mismanagement Consultant.

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

"It doesn't work as a novel. But we're willing to publish it as a desk calendar."

'You drink like a fish.'

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

'My first drink since my accident.'

'We lost your case, but the PR was a success. Three publishers are bidding on your story, and 30 PTAs are petitioning to have the book banned.'