Polling Pundits Pillows

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Skeptic Tank.

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

National Living Wage from April 1st.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

New Year 2020

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

World Health Organization

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

'The trouble is not with your set -- the station just got hit with a new batch of politically correct Federal regulations.'

"That reminds me of the time Hamlet and I – did I mention I knew Hamlet? – Hamlet and I..."

Voter Suppression

"There's more to basketball than winning. There's also telling China to back off in Hong Kong."

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

"Would you like your MP not to stand at the next election?"

"So we're agreed then - there's no need to make any changes to our equal opportunities employment policies."

The Lawyer of Oz

'Sharks have to keep moving to survive, you say?', 'Yep - They're nature's politicians.'

'I'm beginning to think that you're WILLFULLY apathetic!'