Polling Philosopher T-Shirts

Gentleman answering opinion poll instructs woman to read his answer back.

"I don't like the looks of that!"

The devil you know and his plus one

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Labour moderates rallying cry.

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

"You are a Democracy! You are free! The sky is the limit!"

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

"Last time I saw you, you were just a baby."

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

Carl's still 51 annoyed at you for saying his opinion was statistically insignificant.

Restrictive Abortion Laws

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

Political Analysis

Club insecurity.

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

Vote For Me: The winning over of voters.

"Would you like your MP not to stand at the next election?"