Polling Philosopher Pillows

Gentleman answering opinion poll instructs woman to read his answer back.

"I don't like the looks of that!"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

The devil you know and his plus one

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

The Revolution Will Not Be Organized

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

Labour moderates rallying cry.

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

Carl's still 51 annoyed at you for saying his opinion was statistically insignificant.

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

Restrictive Abortion Laws

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

"You are a Democracy! You are free! The sky is the limit!"

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"Last time I saw you, you were just a baby."

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

Club insecurity.

Political Analysis

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

Why don't we invite Hypothesis? It's always a good idea to have an educated guest… Party List. Mesomides. Loxias. Anaximenes. Thales.