Politically Correct Party-goer T-Shirts

'For Pete's sake, we don't use the term 'bacteria' anymore! It's 'probiotic.''

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I am so attracted to you right now."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Masquerade

Carioca

Redhead

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Cheers

Leo McKern

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Christmas sweater alternatives

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

Space hopper as a bouncer of a nightclub

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

Down on Bourbon Street...

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

F1 - Quit Smoking.

"Aperitif?"

"My compliments to the sommelier."

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

God save the Queen.

"Are you pleased to see me or is that a vuvuzela down your trousers?"

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."