Political Visionary Pillows

I am declaring my interest in starting an exploratory committee to look into the possibility of running for the presidency in 2052. Late to the party.

End of crisis

"Today, Americans go to the polls to elect their leader...a powerful, inspiring figure who will bravely face the future...and bring prosperity to the entire universe!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"You realize this means we won't be getting any government bailout money...?"

The United States' economy deflating.

"With great power comes great reward."

"Sure, he has artificial intelligence, but it's his artificial empathy that won me over."

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

"I'm ahead of my time."

"He's really excited about this new proposal to let staff take over services."

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Who Was That Greta Girl Again?

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

'Who knew this whole capitalist system was a bubble!'

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

The World's First Taxi...

Street musician: 'Opening in VEGAS next week'.

The Goodman Dynasty

'Trouble is, the plan has already jump-started him!'

Sometimes, good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.

Time Smoking a Picture.

Neil Armstrong 1930-2012

I'm going to grow up to be an educator. Excellent, dear. Teaching is a noble profession! No, Nana. I'm going to be an educational expert. Coming up with theories on how to run schools. Teaching is much too hard! Amen!

"More Peace Bombs?"

"You can always tell when we have new patients who need glasses."

"Of course, if this one flops we're done."

'This $32 million you quote - is that just your fee, or does it also include the actual building?'

Man holding 'Freedom of the press' placard is about to fall into a manhole.

'It's very forward thinking. No one likes to sit in the back seat anymore.'

Eliminating gas spending.