Political Intern Pillows

"Look, I can do a nurse or a teacher. But I don't know anything about White House interns."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

The president's men

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Laptop Dancing.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

SAGE mentality

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

Rock and a Hard Place

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

"Rudy has asked me to apologize, on his behalf, for your being offended..."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

King Trump

"I prefer to keep my op-ed article anonymous. I'm Trump's conscience."

'He's done well considering he was just a part-time summer intern.'

"Buster, run this past legal."

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"Do you take dark money?"