New Job In Politics Pillows

"Actually, minister, as long as you say 'strong and stable, you can fill the rest with any old b*llocks!"

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

"What was I thinking?!"

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'Leadership training.'

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

Joe Biden

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

Running for Congress

'I'm grooming you for this position and giving you a makeover.'

Lisbon Treaty.

'And here you see the heart of this nation's capital. If you roll down your windows, you can smell the BS.'

'When I'm old enough to vote, I'm going to select Santa Claus as a write-in candidate.'

Startling!

"No one is prepared for life as a congressman. Just imagine it's your first day in junior high school."

"Speechmaking during a pandemic can be unnerving.. just pretend there's an audience!"

Why we need a legislature .

ECONOMICS 101, 'Everybody out! -- This class has been canceled by order of the Federal Government!'

'I'm giving you a bigger desk, so you can take more of my work.'

Attorney General Barr

'The greenest government ever?'

US congress

Sheep reverses roles in the shearing process.

"At the end of the day he was thrown under the bus for getting ahead of his skis and making the issue a big fat nothing burger."

Attempting to a Political Career

'Instead of being just like Michael Jordan, I wanna be just like Barack.'

"For 2016 I have only one word for you...TRUMP!!!"

'You need to say more about the war than just 'oops'.'

'Mindy is glowing. Is she pregnant?'

'And let me assure you that no matter what side you are on, I'm on it with you.'

The Eurotunnel is bricked up

'I have a good plan and given time the economy will rebound and this great nation will once again bask in the glory of...'

Political Science 101: This semester's topics - twisting of facts, manipulation, power-grabbing.