New Job In Public Service Pillows

Startling!

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Flags

Quality Control

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"What was I thinking?!"

Why Cows Leave Home

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

'It's historic that the inauguration of a minority is now routine.'

Elections

Flat tax - equal burden?

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

Budget

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"Efficiency savings...protect front line services BLAH! BLAH! refocus on core objectives BLAH BLAH!"

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

'Why don't you start a small business with a loan from a bank?'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

'If 'v' is the number of qualified physics teachers, and 'c' is the number of unqualified science teachers, this factor reduces to zero.'

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Funding Cuts for the Arts

Obama.

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

Karine Jean-Pierre

"The government's finance settlement is coming out really late this year!"

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"