Political Influencer Pillows

'I could run for office, but as a lobbyist, why would I want to give up all my power?'

The First Family

"Wouldn't it be kind of fun if we lobbyists had a lobby?"

Sheldon Adelson

'I'd like enough money so that I could afford to give it to politicians and run the country.'

"Violation of human rights in Egypt."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Changing Minds

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Witches of Instagram

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Cristiano Ronaldo

Creativity 2.0

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

'How do I get people to visit my...'