Political Fundraising Pillows

'Campaign promises aren't working. So we're replacing them with superpac pledge drives.'

"We only got six days of funding."

"Our war is against cancer."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"Away with the warmonger!"

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

The Russian Election.

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Pearly King and Queen

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

The Thinker

"I want something in which to vote for Mrs. Luce."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

George Papandreou.

2020 Republican Party National Convention

"Those MORONS! I have way more chest hair than THAT! Ha!"

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Obama of Oz.

"Well, we got the grant."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Bake Sale! To benefit our town animal shelter

The nonprofit dog fight.