Politeness Practitioners T-Shirts

'I've never been any good at saying goodbye'.

Costermonger addresses gentleman

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

The merger hits a snag.

Politeness opens doors

'Say, please.'

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

Impasse in the corridor of the National Society of Common Courtesy.

"No offense."

'Sorry to interrupt - your monastery is on fire...the IRS wants to talk to you - and something about a missing case of wine.'

The controversy of ROW VS WAIT: 'Row, to find fish!'

Canadian Zoom

'No... you first.'

'No. I insist. You first.'

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'Don't forget to say 'pretty please'.'

Back in the old days, when mob rule etiquette counted for something.

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

"It's not a self-improvement book. It's a how-to-tolerate-those-who-won't-improve-themselves book."

Small Talk Outlet

"You're very courteous for a hog"

'Don't ask for anything.'