Politeness Practitioner T-Shirts

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

"Do you want the 10-minute truth, or the 5-second lie?"

'Excuse me - I have to take a call.'

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

The merger hits a snag.

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."

'Say, please.'

Politeness opens doors

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Impasse in the corridor of the National Society of Common Courtesy.

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

'If you were in a hurry, sir, you shoudn't have ordered the overnight marinade.'

The controversy of ROW VS WAIT: 'Row, to find fish!'

'No... you first.'

'No. I insist. You first.'