Politeness Practitioner T-Shirts

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

"Do you want the 10-minute truth, or the 5-second lie?"

'Excuse me - I have to take a call.'

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

The merger hits a snag.

Politeness opens doors

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."

'Say, please.'

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Impasse in the corridor of the National Society of Common Courtesy.

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

'No. I insist. You first.'

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"No offense."

'No... you first.'

'If you were in a hurry, sir, you shoudn't have ordered the overnight marinade.'