Policy Pranksters Pillows

'Instead of hunting tonight, why don't we call an insurance agent saying we want to buy a policy, and eat him when he arrives?'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

F1 - Quit Smoking.

Tartar sauce.

"It's dress down day!"

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Back to the Holidays

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'

Cuckoo bird in office.

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'