Policital Comedy Lover Gifts

Border Controls

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.

"What part of ‘secure the crime scene’ don’t you understand?!!"

'Did he say anything before he died?'

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

'Can you prove it's your hat?'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

Containment Cops

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

Joke Shop.

'I robbed the bank because you can't win if you don't play!'

'I say, are you fellows going to be long?'

"I'm just going to step into the bank to get some money for dinner."

"I've got a little job for you, Kretchmer. I want you to infiltrate the I.R.S. and sow the seeds of compassion."

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

The Automatic Policeman

"I'll teach you to muscle in on my business- it's a concrete undercoat for you."

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

"I'm charging you with trying to strike a happy medium."

'Looks like he landed sunny side up.'

Hooked on fried sardines, Irene's cat leads them on a life of crime.

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)