Police Comedy Lover Gifts

'He had it coming..He said my mother had an arse like the back of a cart horse!'

Policemen

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

Excessive Paperwork

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

'Did he say anything before he died?'

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

"What part of ‘secure the crime scene’ don’t you understand?!!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

'Can you prove it's your hat?'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

'I robbed the bank because you can't win if you don't play!'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

"I'm just going to step into the bank to get some money for dinner."

'I say, are you fellows going to be long?'

Joke Shop.

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

The Automatic Policeman

"I've got a little job for you, Kretchmer. I want you to infiltrate the I.R.S. and sow the seeds of compassion."

"I'll teach you to muscle in on my business- it's a concrete undercoat for you."

"I'm charging you with trying to strike a happy medium."

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

'Looks like he landed sunny side up.'