Police Procedural Buff Gifts

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.

Who shot the arrow?

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'Why is it always about me?'

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

Newton's Law and Order.

Privatized Jails

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

The Investigation

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

Moon Line UP

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

"I want to report a race crime.'

Black market trade in foodstuffs is thriving.

Driving Mr. Qcrazy

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

"It's easier to make 'em talk when you just cement the feet."

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

'No, you can't fake your own death and leave all your money to yourself.'

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

'I'm taking a poll. Do you feel safe in your own home?'

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'