Police Encounter Enthusiast Pillows

'You know you are having a senior moment when you have to explain that you were speeding because you had to get to where you were going before you forgot where you were going.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Oh no a speed camera.'

'Can I have your autograph...?'

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

"You have the right to remain silent."

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"C'mon man, you got the wrong species."

'Did you drop this £20 note, Sir?' 'Ooh, YES!' 'That will be a £50 fine.'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

Arcarde Patrol

"I love these quiet evenings at home battling alcoholism."

"Tell me about your fear of policemen."

Police hiding in the ballot box.

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

"I have dusk free."

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'Pretty much every case up here is a cold case.'

Street trader tricking police.

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

Ticket warden to car thief - 'Could you steal that one? It's on a double yellow line'

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'