Police Encounter Enthusiast Pillows

'You know you are having a senior moment when you have to explain that you were speeding because you had to get to where you were going before you forgot where you were going.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Oh no a speed camera.'

'Can I have your autograph...?'

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

Whilst browsing in his local flea market, Jimmy has an awkward encounter with an ex.

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

"You have the right to remain silent."

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Did you drop this £20 note, Sir?' 'Ooh, YES!' 'That will be a £50 fine.'

Arcarde Patrol

Don't Try Anything Funny.

"C'mon man, you got the wrong species."

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"I love these quiet evenings at home battling alcoholism."

"Tell me about your fear of policemen."

Police hiding in the ballot box.

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

"I have dusk free."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

Street trader tricking police.

'Pretty much every case up here is a cold case.'

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

'Call for back-up.'

'I'll call you back, I've got the Police behind me!'