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'Coo, ta, nothing! Hand it back at once!'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

Newton's Law and Order.

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'

Excessive Paperwork

'I don't think the killer would in the garden...that'd be waaaay too obvious.'

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

Al Pacino

"No. 3 step forward and whine, 'Please, Mom, I'm forty-four years old—I can tie my own tie.'"

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"Law & Order: Museum Guards."

'You got a search warrant?'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

"Involuntary manslaughter. How about you?"

Wimpy Harry

Waking the Dead.

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

"You keep changing your story, flower, so I'm gonna ask you one last time."

The Automatic Policeman

'It's the best investment I ever made - a 'random alibi generator.''