Point Chaser T-Shirts

"Son, you'll find success in the ruthless pursuit of credit card points."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Painting clouds

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

The Salesman

The World Wide Web.

"The goal is to hate yourself."

"Smaller, more powerful chips allow me to have a smaller head."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Breakthrough

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

Mohamed Salah

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'And right here they merged...'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

"Oh, I can't complain"

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

Men can show their emotions!

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

Football

'This is why we can't have nice things... '